I met a friend for coffee recently, she is a very beautiful woman, with a honeyed voice, oozing with femininity and she just makes a Laura Ashley wardrobe look so fresh and elegant. (She may cringe at my perception of her.) I have only known her for a couple of years. I asked her a question over our coffee that I have wanted to ask for a long time, but it did not feel appropriate. But now we have spent more time together, I felt perhaps it was the right time. I asked:
“Have you ever wanted to be married?”
The truth is…it is absolutely none of my business. But at this stage in our friendship, I felt comfortable enough to ask, knowing she would be comfortable enough to either tell me to “mind my own business” or else satisfy my curiosity.
I was touched by her reply. She revealed that she has always wanted to married, longed to be married. But not just to anyone. Of the seemingly decent men that showed interest in her, sadly, she found they were not what they had first appeared to be. When she realized someone had a tendency to rage, or little self-control with alcohol, or had a habit of dishonesty or unkindness – she realized they were not who she wanted to spend her life with.
She is a wonderful woman, with a conscience, a woman of strong faith, a peaceable, kind, generous, beautiful woman. I was particularly interested in what she said in relation to her faith. She made a comment which made me chuckle at the time, but since then has caused me to think about some of the books I have read. She said:
“I don’t pray to God as if he were some sort of celestial Cilla Black!!”
I have no issue with reading books which include spirituality and faith – I think that these are an intrinsic part of being human (it worries me when authors ignore that part of being alive). However, I have read over twenty books by US authors which have one particular plot development. I don’t think it is necessarily a deliberate intent but they all have in common a woman with a new found faith finding a lovely good man straight away and the story showing how God had a hand in that.
The reason I mention it is because I am sure there are many thousands (perhaps many more) of wonderful women, full of beautiful qualities who love God and are loved by God, who would love to be married to a good man. I think it could be potentially heartbreaking for a woman who longs for a husband or family to read all these stories of newly converted beautiful women instantly finding romantic love with wonderful men.
I have voiced that thought – but I don’t want it to sound critical of those penning what they surely perceive as love stories – promoting doing things God’s way – looking at the qualities and behaviour in someone who is showing a romantic interest in you. I am sure such authors would agree with me that although it is right to portray God as a loving, caring father and friend who is deeply interested in humans, He is not a celestial Cilla Black (presenter of TV matchmaking show “Blind Date”).
LADY LEWIS 